Are you one of those people who always say ‘YES’ to everyone and everything. Even when you know you shouldn’t do it or if it doesn’t feel aligned.
STOP DOING THAT!
I know, it’s easier said than done.
Confession: I WAS A PEOPLE PLEASER! I wanted to make everyone happy. I wanted to help everyone. I wanted to be that kind of person that everyone could count on. I WAS THAT PERSON!
I was that person that you could come to with all your thoughts, issues and problems. I was that girl that you called crying if you had a fight with your boyfriend. I was that girl who would come over anytime when you called you needed me.
BOUNDARIES? What is that? I didn’t even know.
But 90% off the time that I said ‘YES’ to someone, I actually meant: ‘NO!’ I had this feeling inside that I should have said ‘No’, but I was too afraid to hurt people. So, I was a people pleaser.
And because of this behavior, all my energy flowed out of me. I was constantly tired, always a headache and always this feeling that this wasn’t me.
I did things that I didn’t want to do, but I did. If the person was happy, then I was happy. At least, I thought.
I came to a point in my life that I couldn’t do it anymore. I was burned-out. I was completely lost and I didn’t know who I truly was or what I wanted.
For years I did everything that my parents wanted. My dreams and desires were put away and I was living some else dream.
BUT I COULDN’T DO IT ANYMORE!
I was exhausted!
Slowly I started to set my boundaries. Instead of responding with a ‘Yes’ immediately, I said I would think about it and will give them an answer later.
But this wasn’t always easy. There were times I still felt into my old habits and did something I didn’t want to do. And I always got this nauseous feeling and a voice inside me that was screaming: THIS ISN’T ME!
And when I started noticing that voice and feeling, I realized that it was my soul screaming to me. She was basically telling me to STOP doing those things.
I started to listen to that voice. See if I could hear her sooner. And I did! She was my INNER GUIDANCE. She knows what is good for me and she knows what I really want.
So, I started to listen to her.
And it wasn’t always easy. I was a people pleaser for so long, it was a natural habit for me.
Yes, I made mistakes a couple of times. Or more than a couple of times actually. But I learned from those mistakes. And actually, they’re not mistakes. THEY ARE LESSONS! Thanks to those lessons I started to see the patterns and the habits that weren’t any good for me. I started to notice them. And with every lesson I came closer to not be that person anymore.
Yes, I lost some friends. Maybe all of them. But they were draining the energy out of me. They weren’t the right friends for me.
I even lost a big part of my family, because I was saying ‘No’ to things. And some relatives couldn’t handle the word ‘No’ or my boundaries. They told me I became selfish and this wasn’t the real me.
But for the first time in my whole life, I felt that I became ME!
Finally, I knew who I really was and what I really wanted.
I still do things for others, I still love to help other people. But I only do it when it feels right for me. I only do it when I feel the right energy.
If you are a people pleaser, I know it isn’t something that you can fix today. You will fall into your old habits from time to time. In the beginning, it would happen more often, because you still need to get used to it.
But you will learn it along the way. Start listening to your inner guidance. She knows what is good for me. You maybe have some trouble to listen to her in the beginning, but once you recognize her voice, you will notice her every time when you’re making a decision.
YOUR INNER GUIDANCE KNOWS WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU!
Take the decision today to stop being a people pleaser.
Take the decision today to stop saying ‘YES’ to everything and to everyone.
Learn from the lessons and your decisions.
You’re NOT SELFISH!!! No, you are far from it. You’re selfish to yourself if you do things that you don’t actually want to do.
And yes, you would probably lose some friend and maybe family. But they don’t accept the real you. They are using you for their own good. They don’t want the best for you. They only want what is best for themselves.
And if they don’t accept your boundaries, they aren’t real friends.
Remember, Change your MIND! Change your LIFE!